License picture

I am a little nervous because it's time for me to take a new driver's license photo. It wouldn't be that big of a deal if i didn't have to carry this picture around for the next, i don't know....10 years! So i want it to be good because on my current license i just look like Mookie, from that old kids tv show Fraggle Rock! You only get one shot at these things and if you screw it up you are stuck with a crap picture. The next thing you know your at a restaurant with a group of friends and someone's going to pull out their license and then another person is going to look at the photo and make some kind of comment about it and the next thing you know, everyone's pulling their's out and comparing pictures and you have to come up with some excuse as to why yours is so bad. I don't want to go through that again! So this is my plan. I am going to pull out my camera and take a bunch of pictures of myself (smiling,serious, glasses, no glasses)and see what looks half-way decent and then try to duplicate it when i go for the real thing. This won't be easy because 1. It is hard to perform under pressure. 2. They don't give you much to work with, like different backgrounds would be nice(like the beach, or Paris with the Eiffel tower in the distance , or puppies).3. The staff usually isn't very friendly. They don't care that this picture could possibly cause me embarassment for the next 10 years.The last woman that took my picture was half-man. I think her name should have been Helga. There was no way i was going to ask her to retake my picture.So i just walked out of there dejected, with a 10 year sentence of public humiliation.This time i am going to redeem myself. I am going to take a good photo no matter what it takes, even if it means having to get a make-up artist, getting a personal stylist, borrowing diamond earrings and getting my hair done. i have a lot riding on this!

It has been accomplished!

So Monday night i ran 2 miles in 30 minutes! I can run for a full 30 minutes, which seemed impossible two months ago. I am proud of myself for sticking with the program. So now i have to set a new goal. I would like to run for an hour but that will take some time. So for now i am just going to concentrate on running regularly.

Random

When i drink i think my eyes become more sensitive to light.I can't really explain that. I am tired. I like it when your lips are dry and you press them together and it creates a seal and you have to force them open a little bit. A patient at work asked me out to dinner, i was so caught of guard, all i could say was, "I don't...I don't....I don't eat dinner!" in a very non-convincing way. It was a little embarassing.Sometimes sitting at a bar can be depressing. You just look at the people around you and think," Your life is probably really sad." Meanwhile, they are probably thinking the same thing about you. Sometimes i wish i could just go through life observing and not interacting. Sometimes i think my spinal cord and back muscles are disentigrating because my back bothers me most of the time. It sucks when you feel a connection with someone and you never get to find out if it was mutual.I like my bed. I hate it when people say, " I could care less!" instead of "i couldn't care less!"


At work the majority of what i say is just filler, it's just a lot of ,"yah, really, that's true, are you serious, wow"It's so pointless. I think i need to work on being quiet instead of justing filling the silence. I hate it when people can't separate sheets of paper, so they lick their finger, separate the paper, then hand you a copy. I am probably going to get carpal tunnel syndrome because of not using a mouse or a desk when i am on my computer. I hope i can survive nyc. I really don't like cats, i always think they are going to fly thru the air and scratch my face off.



This girl at work was complaining because she just replaced all the towels in the office and now they are all gone. She thought maybe the cleaning lady has taken all our paper towels. I told her we should do a full investigation. We need to set up surveillance in all the operatories, interview all our co-workers....I had this whole thing set up in my head. Sometimes i wish i was an actress or at least in a comedy troupe.The other day i was taking off a pair of pants and i just fell over on the floor. I was amused. I am dreading service tomorrow.It will be fine i am sure. I am a little numb right now.I need to work on being more sensitive and comforting to others, especially when they have lost a family member or friend. I hate when people say, "i am European" when they aren't European.

Great news!

I have been just a little anxious about where i will be living in nyc. I really want to live in Christina's neighborhood because it's nice and the park is across the street. Well, my second choice was moving in with 4 girls that currently live together in Florida but have plans to move to nyc in june. They want to live in Queens, that's where the foreign language halls they want to join are located. Well, today i talked to Grace, a friend of Christina, who wants a roommate. She said i could move in with her and i am so excited! Grace is just nice, and easygoing, and calm. I think she would be easy to live with. Her building is next to Christina's. So the rent is perfect it's $500! Which is really cheap! So i plan on going up in March to check out the apt. since i haven't actually seen it. I hope to be in the apt. May1st. I am excited that my life is about to change. It's about time! This life needs a jolt of ACTION! ADVENTURE! ROMANCE!(that definitely won't happen) SUSPENSE! DRAMA! INTRIGUE!

I stared death in the face!

So this morning i go outside to start my car and it wasn't as cold as i thought it was going to be. So i'm driving to work and it starts raining. Well when i get to Hickory Flat there's a bridge and i was going about 60 miles an hour so when i hit the bridge i just started sliding all over the place. I was just swerving from lane to lane. It was scary but i finally got my car under control. Well, a few minutes later i hit another bridge and this time i couldn't control my car at all! I was just sliding all over the place and i ended up in a ditch on the side of the road. I almost hit the guardrail on the other side of the highway! It was soo scary! I immediately called my dad and then i just started crying! While it was happening all i could think was, "I am totally going to wreck this car!" It's just scary when you totally don't have control over your car. You just hope that you don't die! There were so many accidents on the highway because no one expected the bridges to be as icy as they were. I passed a truck that had flipped over. I just had to turn around and come back home. My nerves were shot! So basically if i had to sum up this whole experience i would say,"Kia Dukes stared death in the face and brought it to it's knees, TWICE!"

Kids

Sometimes, i think i want to have kids. i was out in service today with 4 children. I like these kids. They are smart, funny, children and at times i think i wouldn't mind having children like these. Sometimes, i just like to stroke there little faces, hold their hands, and listen to the funny things that they say. But three of the kids were digging in their nose and their was the constant smell of urine in the van . I was putting on my seatbelt and all of a sudden i felt something mushy and realized that one of the kids had dropped an empanada in the seat and left it there.You just don't know what kind of food surprise your going to have with kids in a car. The gross thing is that kids will eat whatever has been left in the seat without giving it a second thought! They are always kind of messy and those hands... Ugggh! Kids are just big germs! I don't want kids!

Someone do somethng!

So my life needs to get interesting and it needs to happen fast! Instead of an active social life, my nights are filled with The Office dvd's and british movies based on Jane Austen books that i have seen a million times! How did this happen? I should be at some restaurant with friends, having mixed drinks and we should be discussing our latest crushes.Instead i am laying on a bed that has sheets that haven't been washed in... well, i am too embarassed to say how long it's been. I'm in a room filled with dirty clothes which are part of a wardrobe in desperate need of an overhaul. I choose what to wear, not based on mood, the occasion, or what looks good, frankly it comes down to a smell test. Does this purple shirt smell fresh? Heck no! Is this the third time you've worn it without washing it? Heck yes! Are you going to try and squeeze one more day out of it and hope for the best? Heck yes! Someone please intervene! Apparently, this is beyond my control. I hate my hair!

Running update!

So this is week 7 of my running program. So one more week and my goal will be reached! Today i was supposed to run for 24 minutes/walk 1 minute/run 5 minutes. Well, i accidentally ran for 28 minutes and then ran another 2 minutes. It was really easy..almost too easy. I wasn't even really tired. So i was reading an article about whether it's better to run faster or run longer. So the article mentioned running longer was better. So since i almost have this 30 minutes of straight running down. I think the next goal is to run longer. I would love to run for an hour. We will see how it goes. But i think debi and i should go get hammered after we reach our goal! Maybe hammered isn't the right word....i think "Plastered!" is more appropriate. I am just kidding!

Shepherding calls rock!

So, today i had a shepherding call with a couple elders in my congregation. I love shepherding calls because they are so encouraging and they just make you feel special. It's like a shot of spiritual adrenalin which everyone needs sometimes. So i was in service before my shepherding call with two people in my hall and they were talking about times in their life when they have struggled financially and how jehovah really helped them to make it. So, i have never been in that situation before. I have never been to a point in my life where i was like,"Jehovah, you have to do something here because i am at the end of my rope!" On the other hand, i know jehovah has helped me out in a lot of ways. Sometimes though, it's easy to forget how he's helped you when you haven't really gone through really hard times. But the elders helped me to realize that being able to pioneer for the past 5 yrs is proof that jehovah has blessed me and the fact that i have been in spanish for the past 4 or 5 yrs and have been helpful( even though i feel like i haven't been)is also proof that jehovah has blessed me. So those are things i never really think about but are definitely true. So it just made me appreciate jehovah more and all the things he does for us.

Well I'm 30!

I can't believe i am actually 30 years old! How did this happen? I don't feel like i am 30, i don't think i look like i'm 30 and i definitely don't act like i'm 30. But then again, what does a 30 yr. old act like? When i think of a 30 yr. old woman, i think of someone who has settled into their own skin, a person that knows what they want. That's what i want for myself,so maybe that will happen in my 30's. I really enjoyed my 20's though, I traveled a lot, met a lot of great people,did a lot of cool things, made mistakes but i learned from them, and finally found a hairstyle that's decent(Most of the time!) So i think i am ready for my 30's, after all, i think it's basically what you make of it anyway.

I hate meteorologists!

So yesterday on the radio and the news they kept talking about how we were under an ice storm warning and how we could have a half inch of ice. So everyone's all excited thinking about the possibility of not having to work the next day.So this morning i woke up hoping that the ground would be covered in so much ice, that the second i put my foot on the ground to take a step, there was a strong possibility that i could fall and break my neck. Maybe, while i lay there sleeping in my bed all night, outside was a vicious ice storm, one like we had never seen before, that in one blast froze everything in its place as if time had stopped. So when i woke up this morning, i was almost afraid to look out the window to see whether my hopes had been dashed. I felt like i was on the price is right and i had to guess the price of a 2009 Chrysler Lebaron. Uugh! SO i say" Bob i think it's 35, 759 dollars" as i look at my friends in the audience for their reaction to my bid. My heart starts beating really fast, my mouth is dry, my fingers numb. Bob says, "the actual retail price is 36,759! Oooh! Then comes that tuba that plays the "your such a loser" music.Well, i looked outside and there was no ice. Dejected! So i got dressed and went to work.

What happened to you!!

So it's really cold outside today and the wind has been blowing pretty hard. So i am sitting in the waiting room at my office and listening to my ipod.All of a sudden the mailman comes stumbling in the office! He was doing one of those forward motion, "I can't stop this momentum!" falls. Well, the only thing that saves him is he grabs on to the counter of the front desk. It was so shocking because it was like he came out of nowhere and the wind just kind of blew him in and all i could say was, "What the...!" It was so funny, i think he was kind of taken aback by what had just happened because he kind of mumbled something and walked out the door. So after he was gone, i said ," That needs to happen a lot more often!"

My problem with starbucks

I have a problem with the lids that starbuck's puts on their hot drinks. i don't really like the size of the drink hole. I would prefer something a little bigger, honestly, and how about we mix it up and try a different shape. Like instead of a rectangular- ish shape, how about we try a triangle or my personal favorite, the rombus. I just want to see how people shape their lips so that they get good coverage on that drink hole.

The run

Last night i went running. I enjoyed it. The sharp cold air that slightly burned my nose and lungs everytime i took a breath. The steady beat pumping in my ears. Their was a short straightaway at the park and at the end is a lightpole that shines a bright yellow light. I looked forward to the straightaway because i could stare right into the light.I liked it when everything in my periphery was blurred and all that existed was me and that light. it felt like i was in a tunnel and the more i ran the farther away it gotand it didn't matter because i could run forever. Just focus. My left knee hurts a little, i can push through. Just focus.Tiny raindrops clouding up my glasses but it doesn't bother me though. I am in the zone. I love this song. Don't look at your watch! you will only be dissapointed. Besides you don't want to lose this momentum! How long have i been running? Let's see justin timberlake was track 1..Kanye track 2... I think it's been 4 songs! ok i shouldn't do this but i will check my watch.keep going... 15 seconds left . This is easy... You are finished! I enjoy the rewards of my hard labor.. my heart beating frantically, the heavy breathing, the sore ankles and knee, the coughing caused by my burning lungs, the feeling of accomplishment. I love running.

Maybe this could work!

So for the past 2 weeks i have been thinking," Is it possible to get through an entire workday without saying anything more than yes or no?" For me i think the answer is no. Well, i have to exclude my patients because it would be impossible to only give them yes or no answers besides i have to explain a lot of things to patients.But there is a possibility i could pull it off with my coworkers. I think i might try it next week just to see how it goes. I think i need to get a life!

All you do is complain!

So today i just feel totally exhausted. i need to do marathon service this weekend and i don't even feel like it, all i want to do is sleep and take it easy. I just can't face it! Today i am dissapointed with myself because i didn't finish my run. I ran the first eight minutes without any problem and then 4 minutes into the next set i just stopped. i just couldn't keep going. So i have to finish it tomorrow. No excuses! Life stinks!

Debi, contributing to my blog! Curses!!

how did i end up inviting you to contribute to my blog?! There is a breakdown in the system!! This can't be right! I am just kidding.

Survey Says!

Wow! I can't believe Kia invited me to join in on her blog! This is going to be Bloggerrific!! ...Ok, so, I found a site that had some interesting questions listed. How about if I post a question every once in a while and you guys can comment on your response? The first one is:

Do you think it is worse to have expectations that are too high or have no expectations at all?

Any thoughts?

Enough with the requests!

So i was driving home from work and decided to request a song on the radio. So when i tell the D.J. what song i want to hear he says, " That is a good song!" and i reply "Isn't though!?" So then i proceed to ask him if he had seen the video, why i asked this i don't know, but he says no and i tell him that it's crappy because it's like in the jungle blah, blah, blah. So then he says well it is all about the music or something to that affect. and i say,"That's right, forget about the visual, just give me the music!" Then he says yah, especially since we're dealing with radio!" That was pretty funny so i just started laughing and then we just ended the conversation. Well i few minutes later i hear myself talking on the radio! It was embarrassing! You just don't realize how retarded you sound until you hear yourself on the radio! So later this other girl calls in to request a song and she sounds like she is dreadfully bored ( if that makes sense) and she requests this black crowes song and the d.j. says,"everyone just needs to calm down alright! just calm down!" i guess it's one of those things you just have to hear , i thought he was pretty funny which is odd because usually those d.j.'s are so boring and just stupid.

Oh no! The Police!

So a co-worker of mine hit my car in the parking lot and broke the cover of my tailight (?) so up until this morning i was driving without one.On saturday Debi and i were driving around and got pulled over by a cop and i immediately thought oh crap! i am going to get a ticket and also i don't have my insurance card! So when he asks me for my license and my insurance card i handed him my license and then i had to act like i was really looking for my insurance card knowing all along i didn't have it. So i just told him ;after about 45 seconds of looking for it, that i must have left it at home. So he says ok and basically tells me to get some tape to cover up my tailight and he let me go. Now, i don't want to brag or anything, but i must say, my record with cops is pretty good. I probably have been pulled over maybe 8 or 9 times in my life and i have been given 3 tickets and out of the three i have paid two. Two out of nine, i think that's pretty good! I mean some people may call it a gift, a talent but honestly i can't explain it! Could Michelangelo explain how he was able to paint the Sisteen Chapel? Could Mozart explain how he had the ability to compose such extraordinary pieces of music? No! It was something that these great men were born with.So please, don't ask me to explain how i am able to accomplish this great feat- it is impossible to put into words.

Ooooh! My Back!!!

so i have been having back trouble on and off for probably about , i don't know, 8 YEARS! Recently it has just gotten worse and i am feeling a burning sensation- which can't be good- so i decided to see a chiropractor. So he tells me to sit on this bench and he starts to rub my shoulders and he's like, "Are you always this tense and have all these knots?" I say," Yes, it sucks to be me right now!" He says , "You are too young for this!" He tells me i am hunching over and my shoulders are like moving forward. So basically if things don't change i will have the posture of a 90 year old man. So he popped my neck and my hip. I love that cracking sound! I felt a little better when i left but mostly i was excited about the popping sound. SO i have to go back in two days for some more popping and some muscle stimulation . It's expensive but it's this or eventually come to he point where i can't work. SO we'll see how it goes.

So this is week 3 of the running program and so far so good! I am up to 4 minutes of running and 1 minute of walking and this is repeated 6 times. SO tommorrow i have to run 5 minutes straight and walk 1 minute and i have to do it 5 times.It doesn't really seem like that big of a deal but it's not easy running 4 or 5 minutes straight. I cant wait till the end of the 8 weeks when i can run 30 minutes straight without walking. I will be so proud of myself and i have mostly done the whole program up to this point without a partner which makes it a bit harder.

in other news, i hate my co-workers and that's all there is to say about that!

I hope New York fits!

So in may or june of next year i want to move to nyc. I have been planning this for a while. Today i just started feeling overwhelmed about the whole thing. It's just so big and it just seems like too much to take on. I just know that i am probably going to hate the first few months. Everything will be so new. The only thing that is familiar is my friend, Christina. I know that when i finally get in the groove of living there and hopefully make some new friends, that i will feel like it was all worth it. It will be kind of nice to be out of my comfort zone. Standing on my own two feet ,without the safety net of my family,will be scary and liberating! So no matter what, i feel like i have to do this. I feel like this isn't where i am supposed to be. All of my life i have thought of just about everything as temporary(my job, where i live) but what was supposed to be temporary has lasted 9 yrs! I feel like if i don't do something now, i am just going to have to deal with the fact that this is my life! I would like to just feel settled in a place, i don't want to continue to think of everything as temporary and always thinking, "Well if i just lived here or worked there i would feel so much better." On the other hand, maybe i will never feel settled maybe i always will be searching for something more. Quien sabe! New York is like a dress that you see in a store. It seems really nice on the rack but until you try it on, you don't really know if it's going to fit. So i am going to try it on and see what happens. If it's too tight or just totally wrong then i will put it back on the rack and head home!

Today is a bad day!

So at this moment i am at my job . everyone is gone. why am i sitting here you might ask? well because my car wouldn't start. So i am waiting on my brother to come pick me up. Today was a bad day. My patients were alright. I had one patient who was so nervous she had to take an anti -anxiety drug before her visit today. so i had to go really slow and explain everything i was doing. She asked me if i voted today and i had to tell her no and that led to a conversation about religion so i was able to witness a bit so that was nice. she was one of those people that is just like,"I do my devotional everyday and when i am at church i pray for the pastor and that people will come to the church even when it's raining and i just pray for everybody and it's so amazing how god works and here i am talking to you about god and blah, blah, blah!" so i just ended up doing a lot of nodding when she was telling me all about her church and her mission trips . she actually has some relatives that are witnesses and the doctors want to give one of her cousins a blood transfusion and so we talked about that a little while. So all the xrays i took today were awful. when my boss saw one set of xrays that i took she just shook her head. I am sure she was thinking what is this crap!i have got to do better. I am just kind of hit or miss with them. i hate taking them. so later i said to her sorry for all the crap xrays i took today.

So i learned something new today. i learned how to "pop the clutch" that almost sounds dirty doesn't it? Anyway, so when your car doesn't start you put it in reverse and then when you get some speed you hit the clutch and hopefully it starts. It helps if you are on a hill. So this guy was trying to help me start my car so when he tried this technique my car backfired. but 3 tries later if finally started and i was able to get it to a mechanic. i hate cars and i don't trust mechanics! i just feel like if you are female they try to take advantage of you and that ain't cool!

So i totally have to be nice to carla now that she waited with me until my car got started again. Who knew she could be so nice! Here i am thinking she's a racist! Who knew?!

I have the hair of a lion this week it just has too much volume! Also, it can't be tamed!!!

So this is the second day of the 8 week running program. So i didn't quite follow the instructions of eating a power bar two hours before you start and then drinking a sports drink an hour before you start . I just decided to get out there and just start it. well i ran for about 4 minutes and walked for about 8 minutes and then i just couldn't take it anymore i started feeling nauseous(not sure if that's spelled right) and i thought i was going to pass out! I am no stranger to the feeling of passing out because any physical exertion makes me feel like i am going to pass out! So yesterday my boss joined me and she and i walked for about 30 minutes during our lunch break. Which at first i thought was going to be awkward but it wasn't bad at all. She told me to start looking for a 5k so we can set that as a goal and in my head i am thinking," Whoah! are you crazy, maybe i shouldn't have mentioned my plan to work up to a 2 mile run."Today after work she invited me to come to her spin class i am glad i had a good excuse to not go. i told her i had a meeting to go to. So she says well thursday at lunch we will go walk. i don't like this one on one exercise partnership thing with my boss but on the other hand she is nice and easy to talk to and she does motivate me to keep going. SO we will see how this turns out.

All hail pig latin!!

So while i was cleaning a patient's teeth today i suddenly remembered that this girl i know told me that her sister left a message on her machine in pig latin. Pig latin- now that's a language that doesn't get enough respect. Have you ever tried to say more than three sentences in pig latin at one time? I don't think it's all that easy! Yes, it may lack the romance of the french language or the feeling of italian but you must admit when you hear someone speaking pig latin it is hard not to laugh or at least be slightly amused! So i say,"All-ay Ailh-ay Igp-ay Atinl-ay!"