Am i going crazy!

Just a few minutes ago i realized that i lost my debit card. I used an atm machine at the bank and i just realized that i didn't get my card back. I hope no one has stolen it. Then i was touching the back of my hair and a small chunk of hair came out. I have been feeling sick today, nauseous, and i have been feeling a little light-headed for at least a couple of weeks now. I need to go to the doctor. I feel like something might be wrong with me. I feel like i am on the verge of a emotional breakdown. I want to go home.

Exercise

Monday morning i woke up in a bad mood. i got dressed for service and then changed my mind and decided to stay home. My skin was horrible i had a huge zit, i had my period and i just felt ugly and a bit depressed. SO i stayed home and slept for about 2 hrs. and then i felt better. I decided to go exercise. So i went with Whitney to her Pilates studio. I did 45 minutes on the elliptical and then i did pilates on the machine. Whitney almost killed me it was not easy but i felt great afterward. THen we went for sushi and i made brownies. The day turned out to be pretty good in the end. I have just decided that i have got to start eating better and exercising. It just puts you in such a better mood.

I LOVE BROOKLYN

I am falling in love with Brooklyn. I love that it has a great neighborhood feel. Everything you need is in the neighborhood. I think i would be fine if i never had to go to Manhattan. There are so many restaurants and bars to check out. The park is right there. It is a great place to live.

The guy update

Here is the Paul update. I like him so far. i like that he's kind of shy and that he will say something funny with a straight face, i like that at the meetings that he talks to Fernando who is the only young kid in our hall and that he talks to Lula who a lot of time gets overlooked. The other day he said that he felt kind of useless in the hall but the fact that he shows personal interest in the friends means so much more than how many assignments he has.I think he really is a good person. He seems like the type that really thinks things thru and doesn't make rash decisions.He definitely thinks before he speaks and i trust what he says.So i don't really talk to him at the meetings. One reason is because i don't want people to think something is going on between us.It's kind of nice having a secret. A couple of weeks ago he did come up and say hello. So the next meeting i went up to him and talked for a few minutes. But during the conversation he looks around at the stage and says i don't want to miss the meeting for service. So i kind of took that as a blow - off. So i was pretty irritated after that. So Thursday at the meeting we don't talk even though we are only a few feet from each other. So later that night i text him and invite him over sunday for brunch and a movie. Well he texts back that he would love to come but he has to go upstate to visit his family. So i say that's too bad because we were going to rent rated r movies and smoke pot. So he says so it's a normal sunday afternoon then! So i told him that the next invite is on him and that was the end of the conversation.

The next morning he texts me and asks if i like jazz and would i be interested in going to listen to some that night. SO i said sure. So i went to his room after work and met his roommate who seems just like a big nerd. He starts speaking Japanese out of nowhere and Paul and I are like WHAT?! He's just a weirdo.

So then we meet up with Paul's friend Marion who i actually know because of my brother. My brother hates him, by the way. So we go in his car to this place called Garage, which is a bar/ music spot/ restaurant. It was nice. So Paul buys me a drink and i start talking about how i was supposed to go to a movie with Whitney and Tassy but i cancelled. So he says I am glad you came. Which was nice. So somehow we end up talking about older women and younger men. So i ask him what is the oldest that he would date and he says i can't answer that. So of course i ask why and he says because that leads to other questions. So i ask again and add that i won't ask anything else, just what's the oldest. So he answers 22, because i can mold them into what i want them to be. Which i thought was kind of funny. So in the car he is telling his friend that i like art and culture, which wasn't really a big deal but i thought it was kind of nice.

I find this whole thing frustrating and exciting. It is nice to have a crush on someone but at the same time it's frustrating because i don't know what he's thinking about the whole thing. I don't know if the whole dating conversation is even going to happen. He might just leave in october and not say a word. If that happens i will be dissapointed ( i think, unless i decide i don't like him).But if the dating conversation does happen, i think i will be nervous and a bit unsure about the whole thing.

I did think it was nice that thursday i told him that the next invite was on him and Friday he had something planned, especially since he had to leave early saturday morning to go upstate.

Going Home!

It turns out that i won't be working for the next three weeks. Which on the one hand is great on the other hand it means i will be broke for a while. So i have decided to go home for a week and i am pretty excited about it. I am looking forward to seeing everyone and catching up. Sleeping in my old bed will be nice.Going out in service in Spanish.I am looking forward to good times in good ol' Mississippi!

A Dead Bird!

Friday- Whitney, Hanson, and i went to the beach in long island.The weather was great. Hanson made sandwiches for us and not just any sandwich, it was mozarella with pesto,sun-dried tomatoes, and prosciutto. Did i eat the prosciutto? Heck yah! So i am sitting there in my beach chair reading a book when all of a sudden i notice a couple of seagulls coming my way. I noticed that they were flying pretty low. Well i kind of turn my head and close my eyes and the next think i know, i feel something hit me in the leg! I look down and it's a DEAD BIRD! It hit me in the leg and then bounced off and hit the beach blanket. What's worse is that it was cut open so i had remnants of dead bird on my leg and on my book. I started screaming, people were looking, i yell Whitney's name and stand there in horror. So whitney says run to the water and wash it off. So i high tail it to the water to get the bird funk off! I couldn't believe what had just happened. After the beach we went to this outside seafood shack. It was so good. Then we came home.

What a productive day!

So i am a really lazy person. My plan for today was to go out in service. So i woke up at 8 and then decided to not go out and i watched a couple movies had some cereal ate some cake and basically i have remained in a laying down position all day. All i want to do is eat fatty foods and just stay in my room all day. I am also drinking too much alcohol.I'm not getting drunk or anything but out of the 8 days i probably have had a drink 7 of those days. I am just going to get a beer gut and have really bad cholesterol and then because of eating so much bad food i am going to start to stink. I can see it now.

This crazy week!

Monday whitney and i did service and then we decided to get our nails done and then we went shopping and i bought a jacket. I just decided to splurge a little bit. Later on Stephanie came and we hung out. THat night we went to see Colin Smith the irish singer songwriter who is amazing. The next day we slept in and had a late breakfast and we went to see 500 Days of Summer which i love. THere are so many highs and lows with relationships, sometimes you have no idea how the other person feels about you or the relationship. Anyway, it's just a great movie. So Stephanie left later on that day. So Wednesday morning i get a call from my job saying that they don't want me to work on Thursday. Which makes the second week in a row that i haven't worked. I was so irritated. Fortunately the night before i had sent out some resumes and i got a call an hour later for an interview. It went pretty well, so monday i am going to observe and then tuesday and wednesday i will be working. I am not super crazy about the dentist but i can deal until something better comes along. I also have a meeting with a temp agency next friday so at least i have some options.

THis week has been the worst one yet in this city and i have been here two months. SO i guess i can't really complain that much.